A Day of Release!

In the words of the prolific writer and poetic Maya Angelou, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”  It seems as if it took me until the age 40 to start recognizing some things I have failed to do. It may have been a simple oversight, a level of unforgiveness, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, never-the-less it was something I failed to do for far too long.  What is that you ask?  To give honor to my mother, Virginia Lee White! Most people know that my brother and I were not raised in the home with my mother, and she was quite absent most of the time. So I am certain that they will question why I am choosing to honor an absentee parent.  Well, my first answer to this is, when you become a parent there are no handbooks, guides etc., so becoming a parent has helped me to understand that we will never do everything right and we will need some forgiveness for our shortcomings at some point. My second answer to this is that it really is none of their business!  God instructs us to honor our mothers and fathers so that our days would be long on the earth.  After a "burial" of my past, the events of my birth, and my childhood I had to do what I knew was right for Jeneen.  This is not for everyone, I understand but this is my own personal resolve. 

My mother passed away of cancer when I was 19 and I had a million questions that I wanted to have answered. Prior to this, I was a little angry with her for not being there, and leaving me to filter through this mess that I felt she created, or at least that was the story that others told.  After she passed that anger turned into regret for allowing words of other people to form my thoughts of my mother. I rehearsed this in my head for years to come.  I finally overcame that hurdle. Yet, the topic of my mother remain taboo  and subconsciously, I adhered to it. I was dead wrong!  In God's still small voice let me know "You have been trying to bring your childhood into your future and they are a thing of your past and your efforts stop here!" As of January 2013, I can say that I was freed from that bondage, (40 years is a long time to be in the wilderness). 

Inspite whatever flaws Virginia White had and we all have them), she was still my mother, she was a beautiful woman, she was kindhearted and a good friend. She was not there to teach me about men, nor did she teach me to be a woman, nor did she get to meet get to meet her grandchildren.  However, the one thing she did that makes her worth honoring is that she gave me the gift of life. She could have aborted me or put me up for adoption where I would not have known my family.  She was the vessel that God thought was the best for me.

So, on THIS day I give honor to my mother Virgina Lee White.  Thank you for giving me something nobody else could have. I publicly say that I love you, respect you, honor you.  I have learned better, now I have done better!

#Forgiveness #Motherhood #Release #Honor # Understanding #Newday